Look good, feel better?

During the time where I have largely been living like a hermit I have felt a weird sense of guilt when wanting to get my nails done, put makeup on, or even get a hair cut for the first time in over 7 months, but doing these things have helped my mental health immensely. You know that saying "look good, feel good"? Well, my mother is a breast cancer survivor, and this mentality helped her during her tougher times. My Irish grandmother wore heels, a dress, did her hair and makeup every day into her old age. I even think about the cast of my favourite show, Schitts Creek, who find themselves uprooted from their once affluent and glamorous lifestyles to being bankrupt and living in a small town motel where their lives have been turned upside down. It is so easy to sit at home and wallow, but getting out of the house for a meal or visit with a close friend is important. I have had to find reasons to shower, brush my hair and put myself together, even if it is just a for a day of running errands.

Nick is a perfect example for this. Since the beginning of the pandemic, Nick has always put a dress shirt on every single day working virtually. He says this has helped him keep a feeling of normalcy during these strange times and makes him feel good. Ready to rock and roll, ya know? I, on the other hand, viewed the beginning of the pandemic as a time to give my skin a break (I wore a full face of makeup 6+ days a week *curtsey*) and enjoy a life of sweatsuits. Don't get me started on the underwire bras. Anyways, once the world realized a 2 week shutdown was going to be much longer, we had to create new routines for ourselves, and Nick did just that.

Pre-pandemic and getting sick, I would wear makeup and dress up for my own confidence. Not everyone feels the same way about this, but I do. I love the art of getting ready, playing my favourite podcast, RuPaul's Drag Race, or some other pump up music in the background. And this applies to getting ready for work, so not even when I have a pinot or White Claw in close proximity. This part of my day being gone definitely made its impact on me, and I hated the way I looked in the mirror of a Teams Meeting. So I started a new routine, just lighter on the makeup front, lipstick, and always in stretchy pants (this is going to be very hard to get away from...) Nick says that ironing a shirt every day is part of his routine and helps him in his own way to "show up", and I know that's not just for his colleauges on Zoom at work.

Let's fast forward to September 2021 and my health throws a major curve ball at me. I am used to managing chronic illness flares, but this is different. I am in bed every day. My uniform consists of my husband's undershirts since they were the only thing that felt comfortable, now not wearing any pants (unless PJs count) but at the time I did not think this was going to be more than a few weeks. Months later, not much has changed, and I felt similar to the hopes of my health improving, what is the point in going to the trouble of blow drying my hair or putting on jewelry? Makeup? I have had to work hard to conserve my energy being so anemic, that I would be out of breath simply from taking a shower. Getting dolled up felt like a battle I no longer wanted to pick, and it making me so tired, took the joy out of the process.

My family has been amazing at encouraging me to keep going and have little things to look forward to. A weekly Saturday night dinner was really helpful to keep me feeling somewhat socialized as I found myself withdrawing further from my friends, and no longer having the mandatory connection to my coworkers. I started to tell myself that I would take little steps to get ready for those Saturday dinners, some lipstick, or a new necklace or top. During the pandemic, Nick and I would look to support local businesses in our neighbourhood to make our at-home date nights special, and we made a point to do this with intention during my health setback.

Here are some of my tips that help me:

• Shower daily. Yes, some days this can be hard. That doesn't need to include washing your hair (long hair gang). I keep a bottle of eucalyptus essential oil in our shower and it is the first thing I use on my inner wrist and breathe in while the water heats up.

• Brush that hair. My hair is long and if I don't brush it at least twice daily I end up with a literal nest situation. My sweet husband is used to helping me tame this. A spritz of dry shampoo helps.

• Put on clean clothes. Again, yes, daily. Especially when you are recovering from a surgery to keep infection at bay. Obviously not all clothes apply to this rule (ie your extremely hip never-wash denims?)

• Wash your face. Doing this first thing in the morning helps wake me up, especially with cold water with helps with de-puffing. Your skin is your largest organ - take care of it.

• Fresh air. No matter the time of year a daily walk is needed. Even if it is raining or extremely cold, Nick and I force ourselves outside to run a quick errand over lunchtime if possible. There were times over the last year where I was not able to do this due to my health, but striving for that daily walk for fresh air is a game changer for my mood. Where I couldn't manage a walk, sitting outside for a bit during these times helped.

Everyone is managing their own challenges that you know nothing about. And everyone's ability to even get themselves out the house in the best way they can is not comparable. This is why it is so important to not judge based on someone's appearance for many reasons. I am sharing this because looking good has made me feel better, that that is what works for me. On the days where I can, I channel my inner Moira Rose and rock the lipstick and sequins. The last year has taught me life is short, and when I am feeling well enough, why not go for it. Courage!